Recently, I started retracing all the things that happened while growing up. And I somehow figured that our lives are like a brick wall and at any situation a brick disappears, maybe due to bad experiences or words that may have hurt us deeply but we don’t realize it.
Generally, I feel everyone is broken. Even a shrink is broken too. We all have missing bricks in our walls. The Nigerian society is structured in a way that most times the parents are less concerned about the emotional/ mental health of their children.
Once a parent or both parents as the case maybe, can provide a child with food and Christmas cloths at the end of the year, decent education, a roof over their head, everything is alright because your grandparents couldn’t afford that for them. You as a child is expected to be the Champion in all subjects, wash all washables in the house, come first in your class because that child that comes first doesn’t have two heads.
My question is why should the ways of our grand or great-grand parents be used as a yard stick? Don’t you think it is quite limiting? Why haven’t you as a parent compared the relationship you had with your parents with the one you have with your child presently? Why do you subconsciously strive so hard not be like your dad or mum in certain aspects?
You see, there are a lot of things we need to ask ourselves as care givers. We also need to be aware of what comes out of our mouths no matter how small our children are. They hear everything we say to them.
So, one day I came across a link on yahoo.com about children with bigger heads and what it actually means. I was shook when I read the article and what I discovered you can READ MORE
I would carefully point out some questions a parent should ask him or herself at intervals just to be in check. I’m sure you would be wondering why you should keep yourself in check.
A parent is human being, with loads of responsibilities in a tough economy, trying so hard to give his or her wards a better life. So we all drift once in a while or get consumed by pressure and stress that we forget the little things that actually matter.
Shouting TOO much on a child?
If you do this might make your child defensive at all times and that child would always be scared of opening up to you. At least that is what I feel.
What do you SAY while you shout?
Cursing? Choose your words wisely.
How much time do you spend with you Children?
How many times do you profess your LOVE for your child?
May be our parents didn’t know this, but try it sometimes it is necessary. Why? How do you feel when your Husband or your wife says “I Love you”? Well, we may not be going for that feeling exactly but you get my point now. Another thing is this, when your children hear these words from you, it automatically becomes much more difficult for a total stranger or a random person to sweep your children off their feet especially when they don’t mean it. Because they know what true love looks like.
Do you know your kids friends? Do you give them a sense of responsibility and trust?
LOL … I while I was younger I had more male friends than female friends. I cannot explain why but I seem to feel more comfortable with the boys. Maybe because they don’t have a lot of time to judge you like the girls would, they don’t keep malice like the girls do and I am not cut out for drama.
Anyway, I tried to invite these boys to come and visit me at home. It took quite some time for my parents to get adjusted to the situation that their daughter prefers to hang with boys more than girls, I still had my ride or die girlfriends though. Whenever an argument came up because of this I would try my best to explain that it’s better for them to see whom I hang out with instead of lying to them about it.
It wasn’t easy but they understood after sometime. This gave me a sense of responsibility and helped me to keep good company because I didn’t want to lose the trust between my parents and me.
How much of a spiritual guardian are you? What examples do you show your child?
I am Catholic, my dad constantly reminds us to stay closer to the sacraments. There is no way his advice would end without discussing you relationship with Jesus Christ and the Church. He took us for catechism classes and made sure we passed and my Mum? Best believe she was and still is of great support. She also took us for catechism classes. She made us beautiful First Holy communion dresses. They both say the rosary on a daily bases, so we learnt that prayer should be part of our lives too.
I don’t even know how to describe this. While in secondary school, I could remember that every month I had to give my dad a list of current needs ad recurring needs. This list had to be vetted by my mum before my dad would approve it. On the day that I would collect the money, we both had to sign and write date too as proof that such a transaction took place. Well, I seemed like a lot of stress at the time but I learnt to keep tabs on my expenses, how and what to spend on, decide what’s a want and what’s a need. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t splurge *covers face.
I hope I have some valuable points here for the young folks that will eventually turn to parents someday, I hope? J And those that are parents and care givers are not excluded.
Until next post keep Liking, sharing and commenting … I really appreciate you for stopping by.
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